1) This has been happening alot recently — twice today at lunch — and I just don\’t understand it. As I\’m exiting a place of business, being an American and used to driving on the right, I\’ll attempt to use the right door of a double door arrangement. But not so fast. The right door is inexplicably locked. Thus, I look like an idiot trying to go out it and am forced to use the left door. Is there a reason for the right door being locked, or is it just laziness on the part of the store manager who unlocked the door? Maybe it\’s an ingenious way of keeping dullards in your store and thus purchasing more. \”Oh, well. The door\’s locked. I guess I\’ll stay and eat another sangwich.\”

2) I\’m standing in line at Potbelly\’s, patiently waiting to order my sangwich, when I\’m personally assaulted by the mere presence of a young man wearing a black, wool Bam Margera hat. (He\’s the first and one of the few I\’ve ever seen wear those stupid hats, thus that\’s what I call them). It\’s 95 degrees with 95% humidity and blasting sun, but this douche has to look like a cool SoCal skaterboi. Yeah, I know I\’m getting old when I\’m annoyed by things that have zero effect on me.

You punk kids, get off my lawn.

BTW. Is there a real name for those hats?