I would have seriously dropped the ball as a blogger of the quintessential blog of record not to cover the most important event in the history of human history.  So here is my live blogging of the emotional roller coaster I will endure during this momentous event.

3:00 AM CDT – Royal wedding coverage starts on most US networks.  I remain curled up in my bed sleeping.

4:00 AM CDT – One of the dogs jumps off the couch loudly, temporarily waking me.  I roll over and go back to sleep.

5:30 AM CDT – As has been customary the past few weeks (probably paleo related), I wake up.  Not yet ready to get out of bed, I once again roll over and try to catch a quick nap.

6:54 AM CDT – I finally wake up for good and turn on The Ticket.  The Musers discuss the Mavs great good victory over the Portland Trailblazers.

7:15 AM CDT – The Great Gordo, during Muse in the News discuss “The Wedding”.  He makes several comments about Williams receding hairline and Kate’s hotter sister Pippa.

7:35 AM CDT – I finally get out of bed and take a shower to take on another Friday.

7:50 AM CDT – I take the dogs out to pee.

8:10 AM CDT – Exiting my garage in my Xterra, I begin my commute to work.

8:40 AM CDT – Ribby Paultz, reporting from London where he’s covering the weather, presents his 2011 NFL mock draft to the Musers one day late.  He has Dallas taking Tyron Smith with the 9th pick.

8:50 AM CDT – I finally make it into work.

9:10 AM CDT – I begin writing this post.

Please someone explain to me why I should care, and not openly mock those that do care, about the wedding of two foreign inbreds.  I don’t’ give a shit about my friends’ weddings.  Now the receptions I love.  Will they be televising the reception?  What kind of booze will be at the open bar?  Did they get Emerald City to perform or Petty Theft?