There were two incidents that happened the past few weeks that, to me, exemplify our post-modern narcissistic, entitlement society.

The first one actually happened to me.  I was driving home and stopped at a stop light  — which is what any good God fearing, bin Laden death celebrating, red blooded American does..  Sitting as the sixth car in the middle lane, I watched as the first four cars crossed the intersection after the light turned green.  The fifth car, that being the one in front of me for those not paying too close attention, stood still — the driver obvious texting or reading a text.  Wanting to get home before the approaching May 12 Armageddon, I gently gave my horn a honk to alert the distracted driver in front of me.  The driver looked up, saw the green light, proceeded to move through the intersection, and for the next three blocks presented his right middle finger to me for my amusement.

Really??

I’m supposed to sit patiently behind you while you tell your buddy how awesome Thor is?   Seriously, how am I the asshole here?  You’re the asshat keeping me from my precious couch and Tivo.

And is anyone still offended by the middle finger? 

The second incident didn’t directly happened to me.  But it did happen, once again, as I was sitting at a stop light.

Me – westbound on Lovers at Matilda waiting to turn left to go to Central Market.  East and west bound Lovers had the green lights.  A crowd of pedestrians who had just gotten off a bus were to my left waiting to cross Lovers.  Then, out of the blue, a young heavy man-boy who looks like he probably has a comfortable cot in his mom’s garage,  proceeded to cross Lovers.  An SUV narrowly missed him and honks, alerting him to the danger he just placed himself in.  The obvious reaction is for him to stop in the middle of traffic and give the SUV double-barreled middle fingers.

Again, you don’t have the right to flip someone off when you are the obvious asstard.

And this takes me to the crux of my thesis about narcissistic entitlement.  In both cases, these two “gentlemen” felt so in the right, despite empirical evidence to the contrary, they had no other option but to present the middle finger.  How dare anyone tell them that what they were doing was either dangerous or inconsiderate.

All we need to do is bow to each man’s wall of participation trophies accumulated throughout their years of self-esteem boosting entitlement indoctrination that is the modern USA.

Be warned America.  Make way for the modern bird shooting man.  Please do not interrupt his very important business of walking to the Tom Thumb for more Hot Pockets.