This shit is fucking Highlarryass.

My favorite bit:

Scotch
Like cigars, anal sex and running for President, scotch has somehow become something certain kinds of women claim to like. This is the polar phenomenon to men treating themselves like Barbie Ken dolls with the waxing and the expensive haircuts and the open-toed shoes with jeans and the generally having the vagina. (Three years. That\’s how long it\’ll be before men can get surgery to get monthly periods.) The truth about scotch-drinking women is that you probably don\’t have to get them drunk to get them in the sack. By the time you\’ve sat down, they\’ve already decided if they\’re going to sleep with you or not. Ask them to be gentle (though they hate gentle men).
Works Best For: Women who like to act like men. Also trannies